"I see," Kirk said slowly. "Well, we'll be down momentarily then."
He cut the transmission, and then contacted the transporter room. "Scotty, you should be receiving the transport coordinates now. Have a security team ready to accompany me in the first landing party."
"Aye, sir."
Kirk stood. Chekov spun around in his seat. "Keptin, I vill come vith you in first party too, yes?"
"Not this time, Ensign," Kirk said regretfully. He ran a tired hand through his hair. "Just me and security in the first group. Beaming to Riidux is too dangerous for me to let anyone else go down until I know the coordinates we have are accurate."
Spock raised his eyebrows. "If you are that concerned with the planet's danger then I must accompany you, Captain."
"No."
Spock was slightly taken aback by the strength of Kirk's refusal. He wouldn't have thought Kirk had enough energy to be that vehement. He stood up. "Captain - "
"I said no, Commander." Kirk crossed the bridge to the turbolift.
Spock followed him. "Captain, I must insist that I - "
"Absolutely not. Second party, when I know it's safe, Mr. Spock," Kirk said sharply, even as he continued to avoid Spock's eyes. "Consider that an order."
And the turbolift doors slid shut.
Spock stood still for a moment, staring at the closed door of the lift. Then he turned and strode to the captain's chair. He took a seat, steepled his fingers as he stared at the image of Riidux on the viewscreen, and tried to interpret Kirk's human emotions to understand what had just happened.
Kirk had prevented Spock from beaming down because it might not be safe. Yet a First Officer's duties specifically included protecting the captain from physical danger. Kirk had no business protecting the life of his second-in-command at a risk to his own. He had clearly done so because, despite Spock's explicit rejection, he continued to harbor romantic intentions toward Spock.
He stood up. "Mr. Sulu, you have the con," he said, as he crossed over the the turbolift.
"What? But Spock, the captain ordered - "
Spock shut the turbolift doors, cutting off Sulu's protest. The captain’s order could be circumvented if necessary to carry out this duty, and it was clearly necessary here. He was not impressed by Kirk's decision to protect Spock from the dangers of Riidux while risking himself. Kirk's feelings for him were obviously now interfering with Kirk’s ability to command, and Spock would have to report him to Starfleet.
When Spock reached the transporter room, only moments later, he found that the first party had already beamed down. Scotty was still behind the control panel. “Mr. Scott, you will beam me to the same coordinates as the captain immediately," he said, as he stepped into place on the transporter pad.
“But the captain specifically said that only he and security were to be –”
“Mr. Scott,” Spock said, fixing him with a stony stare. “You have your orders. Energize.”
“Aye, sir,” Scotty said, a bit reluctantly, and the world around Spock disappeared.
*****
Spock re-materialized on the surface of Riidux in the middle of dense foliage and trees. The tense landing party was just a few feet away. The security team had phasers drawn, watching the forest warily and ringing Kirk in a circle. Kirk was speaking in a harsh, urgent whisper into his communicator.
“Uhura, contact the High Council immediately. Zorag gave us the wrong coordinates and we're in the middle of some kind of forest. Get those correct coordinates and I'll tell Scotty to beam us right back up.”
“Yes, sir, right away,” Nyota’s voice said, from Kirk’s communicator.
Kirk lowered the communicator to punch in a new code when he saw Spock and froze. “Spock! What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be here yet!”
“The duty of a first officer is to see to the captain’s safety.” Spock folded his arms over his chest. “You have behaved in an inexcusably irresponsible manner by allowing yourself to beam to the planet’s surface when its safety has not been ascertained, while attempting to protect my life by preventing me from doing the same. You realize, of course, that I will have to report this, because regardless of your feelings for me, it is not proper protocol for –”
“SPOCK!”
Spock's world spun as Kirk dove at him, shoving Spock out of the way with a hard burst of force that knocked him clear off his feet. As Spock smashed face-down into the ground a few feet away, just managing to save his face from impact by catching himself on his hands, a loud snarl filled the air. Shouts erupted around him, and Spock quickly rolled on his back to look.
Where Spock had been split seconds earlier, and where Kirk should have been now, was an enormous beast with claws and fangs like a le-matya from Vulcan. Spock whipped out his phaser and aimed, but a security member beat him to it, scoring a direct hit to the creature’s back. It disappeared in a burst of light, revealing a bloody Kirk – who lay unnaturally still on the ground.
“Captain!” The security member, whom Spock recognized as the one Kirk called "Cupcake," ran to Kirk's side. Spock could only stare. Kirk wasn’t moving, and there was blood – too much blood; vividly red, human blood – and Kirk still wasn’t moving, why wasn’t he moving -
At that moment, deep in Spock’s mind, he felt a barely perceivable twinge; a minute spasm; a sense that some tiny fissure had opened in an otherwise impenetrable wall.
Cupcake had his communicator open and was babbling frantically. “Scotty, you have to beam us up - the Captain's out cold and bleeding – he pushed Mr. Spock out of the way and was mauled by some beast –”
Spock forced himself out of his paralysis. Cupcake was correct. The animal had lunged for Spock. Spock had not been paying attention, too busy threatening to report Jim to Starfleet for having inappropriate feelings. And in return, Jim - Jim had saved his life –
He quickly joined Cupcake at the captain's side. Jim was unconscious; his head had probably taken a hard blow from a heavy paw when the animal attacked. The skin of his arm was shredded and covered in tooth marks, and his chest was scored with long scratches and bleeding claw wounds. Aware that he was experiencing a fear he could not control, Spock touched Jim’s neck, searching for a pulse.
It was the first time Spock had touched Jim since he’d tried to strangle him on the console. And in that moment, he was preternaturally aware, as he had been three months ago, of Jim’s soft, cool skin, of his delicate bones, of just how fragile this human really was. At the touch, an unfamiliar jolt shot up Spock’s arm, straight into his brain – but there was no time to analyze it now.
Jim had a pulse. But only just.
*****
They got Jim into sickbay, where a deathly white McCoy went to work, barking orders at his staff and stabbing Jim with hypo after hypo. Spock hovered on the edge of the action, trying to gauge the healing of the wounded human on the bed while avoiding McCoy’s attention.
The doctor’s eyes were too sharp. “Spock, get out!” McCoy snapped at him. “The last thing Jim needs is you here.”
“Doctor, I –”
“Have you no decency?” he snarled, whirling on Spock. “I’m not going to save him from a wild animal just to have him die of a broken heart! Go!”
Spock did not think he could leave, not with Jim looking so small and vulnerable on the biobed. “But –”
McCoy pointed at him angrily. “This is a place of healing. You will not hurt him in my sickbay. You are going to leave. Now.” He narrowed his eyes. “Besides, Commander, you have a ship to run. Logically, you should be on the bridge.”
The doctor was right. Spock knew he was right. He hesitated nonetheless. “You will heal him –?” he began, surprised to hear a note of desperation in his own voice.
“Of course I will. But I don’t know why you care. You’re only going to break him again.”
Spock’s eyes widened, but before he could respond McCoy turned his back on Spock to tend to Jim again.
Feeling somehow worse than ever, Spock left sickbay for the bridge.
4. Conflicted
“Mr. Spock, I must again apologize – I assure you, Zorag has been fired and will not be rehired by anyone connected to the High Council – you must understand, we meant no harm to Captain Kirk, we hold him in great esteem - ”
